Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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