dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
