Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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