I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
