spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
