You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
