Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
