Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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