Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
