you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
