mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
