Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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