have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
