I cockslap morals
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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