i wish my penis had a tongue
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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