We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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