Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
