oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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