so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it was like eating out sand paper
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
