There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
