Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
