oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
