we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
