What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I smell like Dick and happiness
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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