so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
