Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
