Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
