dude i'm inner monologue high
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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