I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
