Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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