You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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