bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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