She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
