Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
