I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
