In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When are your genitals available?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
