my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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