youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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