my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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