so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
