so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
