I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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