I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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