I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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