you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
