Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
