you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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