the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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