I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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