her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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