I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
